


Years of love

by izzaybel



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fate, Love, M/M, Xarry, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4833314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzaybel/pseuds/izzaybel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's with Xander and ready to propose after nearly 10 years. But after no one can find Louis, Harry's the only one who may have an idea. Niall's found a note he probably wasn't supposed to find, but he gives it to Harry and it shows that maybe after ten years, their love never really ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Years of love

**Author's Note:**

> Hate me, or don't, but this idea was founded after Zoey 101's time capsule reveal. If you have no idea what I mean, youtube: zoey 101 time capsule and once you're done youtube: what did zoey say?  
> this is my childhood but with a twist of my teenage self. hope you enjoy :)  
> cred to @curlsvocals because she inspired this by saying "au where harry is about to propose to xander when jeff comes and reads him a letter written to him by louis 10 years ago and runs to find him" a little different but close enough.

There wasn't a better place to propose to him. A stunning landscape of trees and various flowers incorporated to the kind brown eyes and tanned skin. The sun was setting, leaving the light crossing between the streets of New York and its people.  
It was quite crowded in New York but Xander loves it here, and that's what matters to Harry. Xander meant a large amount to Harry, of course after spending 10 years together, it's quite easy to get attached. Holding Xander's hand in front of the people wandering made Harry feel confident.  
He made Harry feel confident.  
The setting seemed perfect, something out of a story book, entering the large park hand in hand. Harry smiled at him, hoping he'd notice and smile back, but he doesn't, rather points to a bench to go sit at, something Harry slightly frowns at but is use to.

"New York is too good to us. I feel complete," he stares, both their eyes landing on each other. 

Harry played with the box in his pocket while leaning into a quick kiss. 

Barely feeling his lips, he smiles before pulling away, "As much as I would love to, you know how I feel about kissing in public." He gives Harry a kiss on the cheek instead, it's warm and pleasant so it doesn't bother Harry too much.

"You know," Harry begins, "My favorite part of this place is being able to explore it all with you."  
Xander felt his heart race, he truly loved the man that sat next to him after the 10 years they've spent together, he couldn't imagine his life with another person.

"I love you." 

"And I love you." 

They stay there, both admiring what the large park had to offer. On occasion they'd see children pass by with their parents, laughing and smiling. It's all Harry wanted although Xander had other dreams. It was okay though because to make a relationship work you have to compromise; they were content with just each other and their huge apartment on the 49th floor of one of the tallest buildings in New York. 

Harry had gotten over his nerves now, he was breathing easily and his heart was calm, maybe this was a sign that this was it.

Harry turned to face Xander, who was smiling at his phone, and squeezed his hand.

It caught his attention, glancing up momentarily before looking down again, asking, "What's up, love?" 

Harry took one quick breath before pulling the small box out of his pocket.

"I found someone I can see myself spending-"

Harry was cut off by an obnoxious tweeting bird ringtone. Xander showed his screen quickly, "It's the boss man, I've got to answer. I promise I won't be long." Xander squeezed his hands and kissed his forehead before running off to the little pond a few feet away. 

Harry sighed and leaned back on the bench.

To Gem: seems he's a busy, should I ask tmrrow instead?

He sent a quick text before feeling his own phone vibrate in his hands along with a message peering from the top of his screen.  
From Niall: mate we've got t talk ! big news, call me !!!

Harry looked over at Xander, looking properly annoyed with his arm across his chest, tapping his bicep impatiently. He notices and shrugs angrily at Harry in a "what the fuck, he won't hang up" tone.

He smiles before deciding he'll take a good ten minutes before coming back and calls Niall.  
"What's going on?" Harry asks as after two rings and a heavy breathing Niall on the other side.

"You've got to come to LA! We're all here, even Zayn. We can't find Louis. There's some-"  
Harry quickly intrudes hearing Louis' gone missing, "What do you mean you can't find him? He's a grown man, where could he possibly go? Have you called him?" Harry's nerves were back because of Louis.

Even his name sent a chill down Harry's back, but he dismissed it due to the cold gust of wind passing.

"Yes we've called, but it's no use. He's off the grid, and I don't know what to tell you. I know you haven't properly talked but you still know him best."  
Harry knows he's right. Although Louis and Harry fell apart years ago, almost a decade ago, they're still one in the same. If Harry was honest, there wasn't a day that passed that he didn't think of the charming, enthusiastic man. He thought at first it was a break up phase, but after a few years Harry couldn't hide the feelings that he got in his chest while glancing at Louis. 

Soul mates, Harry had always thought, but Louis said they were too young, too young to be in a relationship that was so strong. And for awhile Harry believed him because why wouldn't he? He saw the best in everything Louis said even if it might have hurt him in a way he's never experienced before. Then he saw how sad Louis had gotten, how much he drank, how much he smoked, and it soon became a possibility that Louis didn't come up with that idea. But who would Harry be to assume that? The situation, though, was unlike Louis. He would have left a note or sent someone a simple text, it worried Harry enough to want to be on the next plane to LA. 

"Harry?" Liam's voice brings his mind back into reality, "I know you two may not be in the best place but it's been long enough. This letter we found written to you... I think maybe we found it for a specific reason."  
Harry feels his heart race and he looks at Xander, who has made no effort in looking at him, and on impulse stands up. Louis left him a letter? Harry feels dumbfounded reacting the way he is but he's eager to know what he could have written him. 

He softly calls out, "Xander!" he doesn't turn around and Harry feels the box poking his thigh. "I'm sorry-" he calls out quickly before turning on his feet and running to catch the next taxi to take him to an airport.

"I'm on my way." He exhales and inhales rapidly, and he considers this might not be because he's running through a crowd of people in a never ending trail.  
He soon gets to the whistles loudly for a taxi and it quickly pulls over, the shocked man exclaiming, "You're Harry Styles!" 

He's quick to smile and eager to state his intentions, "Yes, hello, can you please take me to JFK airport as quick as you can?"  
The man nods and turns into the main street.

....

It isn't long before Harry's boarding a plan with nothing but his wallet, a phone, and a plane ticket. He's stuck for 6 hours on a plane with his thoughts on Louis.  
Niall sent him texts every hour, updating him if anything happened. There's still no sign of Louis.  
Niall explained Louis had been avoiding everyone for the past few weeks, not even going to work. It worried him, Louis was never one to leave his work behind, it's an admirable trait Harry thought.  
After a painful six hours of sitting down and unending turbulence, he was in LA. He was left speechless considering Xander hasn't bothered to call him yet. 

To Louis: I'm in LA, where are you?  
He didn't care. He cared where Louis was, and how he was doing.

Minutes later, Harry felt his phone buzz.

From Louis: at the beach 

He actually responded to him, Harry shockingly thought. They hadn't spoken in awhile besides saying happy birthday months ago on twitter but that had been it. 

To Louis: our beach? I'll be there soon x 

Their beach was the one next to the house they were planning on getting before Louis had ended things. Months later Harry checked if the house was still up, it wasn't, Louis had bought it but never made the effort to move furniture into it, it just remained empty. He doubted Louis ever stayed in it too. Without another response, he figured it was still worth a try to go look.

To Niall: I may know where he's at, if I find him I'll make sure he's okay.

Harry got into yet another cab, the driver was surprised Harry was going to the beach in a purple sweater and black jeans, but he didn't say a word. It was an endless journey from across the country to find Louis. And there was the chill again, along with shaky hands he developed on the airplane (he wasn't sure if they had ever stopped shaking), and fast beating heart. 

From Niall: You need this letter first. we read one line and knew it wasn't ours to read.

"Can we stop somewhere before heading to the beach?" Harry told the man. They drove to Niall's house within twenty minutes. The sun was gone and the moon laced around Niall's home.

"Nice to see you," Niall smiled and Harry was quick to get out of the cab and hug him. 

"It's been too long. Where's Liam and Zayn?" Harry urged.

Niall pointed to his house, "Both fell asleep not too long ago. They searched everywhere for him, H." 

Harry finally spoke the question lingering on his lips for so long, "Why didn't you tell me about Louis earlier?"

Niall placed a frown on his face, "He's been that way, you know? Ever since you two ended he wasn't the same, just thought this was no different than the regular Louis we're use to." 

That made Harry's head fall. He wished he hadn't been selfish after they broke up. He only cared how hurt he felt then, rather than asking Louis how he was, he regretted it all.

"Lift your head, mate, we found this." Niall handed him a letter, a small print inscribing H.S, "We tried to look for some hints to know where he could have gone and found this letter. Find him and make sure he's alright. Make sure you two are alright. We miss Louis and Harry, the mad men running around everywhere." 

Harry laughs gently, revealing a flood of memories, but he nods and gives him a quick hug before waving him off, promising to come back again.  
Harry's hands were slow as they opened the letter as he eased back into the uncomfortable cab seat. Much apart like everything else, time seemed to move slower as he began to unfold it.

He closed his eyes and shook a sad breath out, he read:

To my always,

The first line had Harry's chest in knots,

It's only been a few months since we've been together, but I feel that we're the equivalent to the married couple across the street from our flat. I apologise ahead of time, I should be doing laundry, but I figure this letter makes up for it. I love you. I genuinely, properly love you. I write this because I know I see myself with you a year after this and the year after that. This is a anniversary love note, if you will. And I want you to know that, when you sleep, you're quite talkative. Just last night you mentioned how Liam had no right to brag about the scrambled eggs he made that morning, "they weren't all that great." I agree, and I also agree when your subconscious self says that we're soul mates. (Forgive me for being a sap. You've got me watching too many romantic films.)  
I was never one to believe in that sort of thing until I met you. I watched men leave my mother countless amount of times and that just ruins a person, it seems like there's never hope for someone. But I wake up every morning next to you and I realize that you've brought the life back into me, Styles. You bring joy everywhere, you fucking radiate it. It's beautiful. You're beautiful. And I love you. Thank you for being the person I needed in my life. I feel like we make each other, like we've been missing one another all these years and I'm so damn glad to have found you now. I know we're young, and I know we've got plans, but I know I want you to be with me through all the madness-

 

The ink goes messy and stops altogether. Just in time the cab driver says they're here. Harry doesn't have time to gather his thoughts, so he restrains it as he had learned how to do so. He folded the note and wiped a tear that slipped through.  
Louis had imagined the same things Harry had, and Harry had been so quick to let it disappear, but whatever the real reason may have been, Harry knew they would've gone through it. Through all the madness, he thought.

Harry paid his dues and walked onto the sandy road. He took his shoes off before getting to the sand packed area; he walked carefully down the hill, looking for Louis in the darkness. It was empty, surprisingly, and it only left Harry wandering.  
After walking across the entire beach, he spots Louis sitting on the top of the sand at the far end by the rocks, he had only seen him because he was wearing a white shirt that gave him away.

"Lou?" Harry asked as he neared him.

Louis lifted his head as he heard the soft, endearing voice he ached so much for.  
As he came closer and the moon his his face, it was more than obvious Louis had spent a good amount of time crying, his eyes were red and puffy, but Harry still stared at him like he was the most stunning person.

"Our beach," Louis softly said, clearing his voice, "Thought you'd forgotten all about this place."

Harry shook his head, still standing above him, "Why would I forget?"

Louis shrugged in response, for a moment, they stayed like that. Harry towering above Louis and Louis watching the ocean. Harry sat down next to him, placing his shoes beside him and the note safely in his back pocket. 

"It's nice to be in LA again, not too cold, not too warm." Harry says, hoping to lighten the mood.

Louis smiles, "It is nice." He looked at Harry and it felt like heaven looking into the pale blue eyes. He looked away, but Harry continued to stare, "How's New York? I hear it's more chilly over there."

Harry takes a deep breath before nodding, "Yeah, it is. But it's good, it's all good, it may get cold but there's heating for a reason."  
Louis chuckles softly, before biting his lip and glancing down.

"How's LA? Same as I left it I hope," Harry asks.  
The air seems too tense and neither of them want it to be this way but it seems there's no way to change it.

"All is well." Louis decides whether he wants to hear how Xander is, mention the news he heard not too long ago then Louis remembers he was never one to bite his tongue, "And Xander? Last I heard he's a big hit with everyone." 

Harry's heart drops, sadly enough he had forgotten who he'd left behind but apparently so had Xander because there was yet a message for Harry to receive.

"Xander is Xander," Harry forced a smile, thinking it was wrong to mention him since Louis twitches as he heard his name slip through Harry's lips.

"And the engagement? How did that go?" Louis asks and Harry's taken aback.

"I didn't- where did you hear that?" He's shocked and all Louis can do is slightly laugh.

"It's fine, Harry. We broke up a long time ago, we can still talk about this. Did he say yes?" Louis smile says he's happy but his eyes share another story and Harry can't bare to try to read the pain.

"I haven't asked him yet. I don't know if I will, if I'm honest."  
There's hope behind Louis' eyes but it disappears.

He swallows what's gotten stuck in his throat, it hurts more than Louis thought it would, "Why's that? You seem great together. Couple of the year taking on every challenge. I'm surprised you're not married with kids with mops of curls running around yet." 

It feels like a stab in Louis chest. All he wants is Harry to be happy but Louis not sure if it's enough for him anymore. He craves so much more.  
Harry's smile falters, "He doesn't want kids, he's too- we're too busy right now and I'd see where getting engaged would be too much of an inconvenience-"  


"But you love him?" Louis asks.  
Harry feels like he's drowning but still able to feel the pain of the fall.  


He takes a while, grabbing his bottom lip before questionably nodding, "Yeah, I do. It's nearly ten years of being together, you have to love someone after that long," Harry's shoulders fall and all he thinks is: he can't do it anymore. It's tearing him apart having that mindset, so he decides that he may love Xander but could never be nearly enough to the amount he loves Louis.  


Louis notices Harry's demeanor but remains quiet. 

"I came here for you, Lou. I don't need to tell you about me, what's happening to you?"  


Louis shuts his eyes and leans his head back, sighing, "Is there a certain reason that everyone asks that? Like a specific reason because it gets pretty damn annoying having multiple people ask all the time." Louis exclaims, letting his anger hit Harry. He takes it and he's calm because Harry doesn't mind letting Louis relieve himself.  


"We want you to tell us the reason." Harry states and he waits for Louis. He'd wait however long because Harry can only imagine what's breaking him.  


"I just don't feel good. Maybe I'm sick, I don't know." Louis says simply.  


"We can go to a doctor, if you'd like. Or take you home and we can watch whatever film you want and maybe you'll feel-"  
"No." Louis states before bringing his head forward again. He appreciates every effort Harry wants to give but he's pushing for something Louis doesn't waant to reveal.  


"Then can you tell me what's wrong, Louis? Because no one can read your mind and-"  


Harry's quickly interrupted by Louis' yelling at him, "Am I entitled to tell you what's wrong? I don't think I am, so back off."  


"Louis-"  


"Harry! Jesus christ!"  


Harry continues pushing, "I just want you to be happy, why is that wrong?"  


Louis bursts out what he's been trying to hold back for ages now, "If you wanted me to be happy you would have stayed in New York with your fiancé and lived a happy life away from me. You think I'm happy having you in front of me in these circumstances? You think I like to hear about your new life with the bloke you left me for months after we broke up? I'm fucking trying to let you be happy, so I can be happy in return and you make it so damn complicated!" Louis' crying now and all Harry can feel is the tears building up.  


Louis covers his face with his hands and Harry can't stand watching him cry. Harry's breaking him. He reaches his arms for him, they wrap around him so perfectly and Harry's glad he accepts him.  


"I'm sorry, Lou." Is all Harry can say before his voice chokes.  
He's holding the man he thought he'd spend his life with for the first time in so many years.  


"I've tried so hard to make sure you were happy before," Louis says, "so when I see your face everywhere and you're smiling, I thought it was enough to keep me happy too. But it doesn't matter anymore because I'm not the reason behind it."  
He chokes out another sob and Harry's crying now too, it's one big mess.  


"I'm sorry." He repeats holding him tighter this time and it's devestating to Harry because this is all he can really do. Momentarily he remembered the letter, "I read it. The letter you wrote for our anniversary," Louis gets quiet, but Harry still feels him shaking in his arms.  


"Maybe I didn't know about my sleep talking but I'm glad you knew. I'm glad you knew what I never got to say directly to you." Harry leans his head on Louis', "I saw forever for us, like Margot and Elliot from across the street back home. And I saw us with a family, they'd be on tour with us, and after we would have settled down in Doncaster because I know how much you would have loved that. Maybe if I hadn't been so stubborn we could've had that, because I loved you. Because I do love you. I would still do that for you, Louis."  


Soaking in what Harry's told him, they remained that way for a few minutes, in tears and in each other's company.  


Louis wraps his hand around Harry's arm and squeezes it for dear life. Louis replays all Harry's said in his head and it's unbearable.  


Louis finally speaks, "It wasn't me." He says and Harry knows what he's talking about, he's known all along, "I could never think that what we had was meant to end. I love you, Harry, god I love you so much, but I can't have you. It's the worst hearing you say these things and not being able to kiss you, not being able to feel the same way as we did ten years ago."  


He continues, however Harry had gotten a hold of the note he may as well admit to what else he never got to finish writing.  


He speaks nervously, "I wrote more. The pen stopped working but it goes along the lines of saying how I pictured our wedding, the guests, our kids as the ring bearers. It gave me a sense of security knowing we'd end up together."  
Harry shakes his head, he loves him and he can't let this slip away again. Holding Louis in his arms, he realizes he can't let him go; this is all he wants and needs.  


"I want you to be happy." Harry tells him because he's been dependent on Harry and it shouldn't be that way. Louis' a genuine person with so much to do in his life, Harry doesn't understand why he's living on someone else's happiness when he can live on his own accomplishments? How can Louis be unable to see all he's done and have that be enough?  


"You make me happy, Harry, whether I like it or not. I've tried to find new things, new people. But right now, having your arms around me feels like I can fucking breathe for the first time in years."  


"Then I'll keep you in my arms as long as you want."  


Louis pulls away at that, "I want forever, but we can't have that."  


Harry smiles, "Yes we can, baby. I know Xander may be upset when I get back there but he'll deal with it. Hell, I left him in the middle of Central Park, and he still has yet to even ask where I'm at." Harry sighs, "I have had to compromise more on my end in everything. I'm exhausted. I felt like I had to deal with it because we've been together for so long, but I know now that it shouldn't be like that."  


Louis looks down, he can't face Harry; he's risking his relationship with Xander for Louis and Louis doesn't want to be the reason they end, it seems he's always ending things.  


"Louis, I've had someone make decisions for me for the past ten years. Let me make my own right now." Harry says and he's sincere with every word. For god's sake, he left his potential fiance for Louis because he loves him more than anyone else. Their type of love never disappears for a reason, so whatever they may face in the future, Harry knows at least he'll have Louis by his side.  


Louis has yet to lift his head, so when Harry does it for him, his eyes are shining, the waves hit gently on the shore, and the moon shines brighter. He inches his head forward, hand on Louis cheek now and trace over each other's lips. Nothing seems more right than this exact moment, Harry finally kisses him.  


It's been long but it's still so familiar. They both feel the electricity running through them as Louis finally moves with him, it's a gentle kiss that holds a remarkable amount of power. Harry wants more but he keeps the same movement. Louis lips are soft on Harry's and they both move easily. After a few minutes Harry puts his hand on Louis neck and deepens the kiss. Louis is more than accepting as he softly pushes Harry on his back onto the cool sand, and Harry opens his eyes to see the dark sky with glimmering stars and a pair of blue eyes with new life in them.  


"I love you." Harry tells him.  


Louis releases a shaky breath, "Through all the madness?"  


Harry laughs quietly and nods his head, "Of course, I'd always love you."  


Louis knows this could go in different ways but he feels alive with Harry. Hearing those three beautiful words slip from the curly haired man beneath him, he knows they'd be alright. He'd never let anyone take that away from him again.  


He smiles for the time, it's heavenly, Harry admires, "Can I kiss you again?"  


Harry nods his head, feeling like he's the same 18 year old in love with Louis Tomlinson, "Yes."


End file.
